Talking

Keep telling myself that

This is not the end

Though these walls

Are closing in around me

I wonder how long

Until I disappear from sight

Kicking and screaming

But no one can hear me

The pain inside my head

Will never show in my eyes

I don't need your sympathy 

I need your arms around me

Stopping me from choosing

Death over this joke of a life

I feel trapped by your limits

Because I could do anything

Give me wings and I could fly

To where I don't have to feel

Your stare of contempt

For these gifts that aren't mine

Or I'd share them

Let the world see itself

Through my vision of life

I'd laugh at the jokes

The ironies and contradictions

Of those that call themselves 'friends'

They'd be surprised to find that

I chuckle with pity at

The things they make important

Mostly themselves

You all make me sick

Maybe my smiles are lies

So look closer and you'll see

The truth behind the frown

Don't tell me if you see it

I don't want your help

I only want your love

And all of me

The good with the bad

So I can push you away

Charlotte Gardiner - September 2006